Why it is important to DEMONSTRATE that you are listening

I recently found myself feeling very uncomfortable and quite cross during a networking event.
Not usual feelings for me at these type of events, as I often find them sources of inspiration and fun, in addition to being a great way of finding new contacts and potential referrals if not immediate business. So what made me feel this way?

A brief presentation was being made by a charity, the like of which we may all be grateful for in terms of support in our lives in the future. This charity was working with sponsorship from 2 local businesses to raise funds, and took time out in an evening to attend this event, working in partnership with their sponsors. We were sitting around a large board style table, maybe 35 or more people, and the speakers were at one end of the table. During most of the time that the person from the charity was speaking, one attendee was holding a phone extended out in front of them at arms’ length in full view therefore of everyone around the table, reading messages and texting.

Whilst this person may well have been listening to all that the charity representative was saying, and did indeed clap at the end of the session, that is not what the body language was saying to me.

So, what are my top tips for building a strong and positive rapport with others by demonstrating that you are listening?

Give your attention to the person you are with.
· Be present, not elsewhere
· Give eye contact, even smile!
· Watch your body language – eg lean forward instead of slouching

Wouldn’t you want others to do the same when you are speaking?

How to motivate yourself?....

How to motivate yourself? ........

A topic that has taken up too much of my thinking time as I have been confined to the house over the last 3 weeks! Yes, that's what I've been doing - thinking about it ... thinking about it ... and thinking about it ... aaaahh!!

So why has my thinking time not lead to doing something about it?

Good question. I think I have been on the downward spiral of inertia, and now it's time to wind back up onto the upward spiral of action.

So, my action is to change my thinking:

Away with downward spiral thinking:

I’m stuck in this chair!

How many times have I heard that story on 24 hour news coverage?

That’s another client I have had to let down because I cannot get to them.

Farmville again – yawn.....

“I feel terrible asking for help all the time”.

Call to action with:

What can I create whilst sitting here? I don’t often get that sort of time.

Great new books have just arrived from Amazon. What new inspiration can I get?

What can I do for my clients whilst I have planning time?

Call and ask them, then diarise a meeting when I am back on my feet.

Write a series of blogs. Time well spent now, so that I have material prepared for when I am back out and about finding little time to write.

“Thank you so much for all your help when I really need it”.

How do you get your motivation back when it has been waning?

Teamworking - Lessons from Geese

I was introduced to 'Lessons from Geese' some years ago, and do not know the original source, though it is liberally scattered around the internet under various sources. The spirit of it has stayed with me, and I find myself coming back to it regularly when helping people to reflect that 'going it alone' may not always be the best strategy, particularly when times are tough. The job of a leader can be very lonely if the team is not firmly aligned, heading in the same direction, and behaving like a team.

The lessons below need no further comment, just a bit of reflection time:

Fact 1
As each goose flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the birds that follow. By flying in a ‘V’ formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone
LESSON:: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are travelling on the thrust of one another.

Fact 2
When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.
LESSON: If we have as much sense as a goose we stay in formation with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others.

Fact 3
When the lead goose tires, it rotates back into the formation and another goose flies to the point position.
LESSON: It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent on each other's skills, capabilities and unique arrangement of talents,skills or resources.

Fact 4
The geese flying in formation, honk to encourage those up front to keep going.
LESSON: We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups where there is encouragement, the production is much greater.

Fact 5
When a goose gets sick, wounded or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again. Then, they launch out with another formation of geese and try to catch up with the flock
LESSON: If we have as much sense as geese, we will stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we are strong.


V formation makes it easier to keep track of every bird in the group. Fighter pilots often use this formation for the same reason.

Impact Positive on Positive Thinking

Thanks to Karen and Carrie for their feedback on my recent half hour workshop on 'The Power of Positive Thinking.

Karen Rainford http://dressingyourrooms.co.uk/index.htm

Says: October 5, 2009 at 3:54 pm

"Just wanted to say what a great event this was! Have tried to take it all on board and have tested out most of Angie's tips! Seem to be working! One thing I did do on way to a client last week when feeling tired and crabby, was to force myself to grin like a Cheshire cat whilst driving along. Looked a bit silly no doubt but felt much better very quickly!!!"

Carrie Phillips Independent Financial Adviser at Wish Financial Ltd http://www.alphafinancial.com/index.asp Says:

“I attended a Women In Business meeting where Angie was presenting on the topic of positive thinking. With expert insight into the topic, easy to digest sections and an energetic delivery, it was impossible to leave the room without feeling more positive! Angie is clearly passionate about what she does and her enthusiasm and knowledge shine through. Her session was well thought out and well tailored to the audience; a true professional.” October 12, 2009

Top qualities: Great Results, Personable, Expert

The Power of Positive Thinking

Thanks to all who attended Women in Business Sussex last week and joined in the fun of positive thinking - especially Julie Maxted of Holbrook Pages www.holbrookpages.com/ for letting me demonstrate with her how negative thoughts can drain your energy, whilst positive ones can give you strength.
Photo by Andrea Sarlo www.andreasarlo.com/

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Positive Thoughts Give Us Energy
So what are the benefits of thinking positively? A whole range of benefits can be achieved including:

Increased Confidence ..........................................Less Stress
More Skills ..........................................................Greater Achievement
Improved Networking.........................................Improved Relationships
Less Time Worrying............................................ Quicker to take action
More Perspective .................................................More Rational Thoughts
Personal Satisfaction ............................................Emotional Wellbeing

So why not talk to us today about how we can help you to think more positively and reap the benefits both personally and for those around you, whether at work or in life in general.

Call Angie on 07779 639569 or 01403 888044 or e-mail angie.martin@amhr.co.uk

Playing to our strengths

Delighted that my Strengthscope Report confirms that DEVELOPING OTHERS is one of my Significant 7 Strengths:

©Strengths Partnership Ltd
Developing others
You promote other people’s learning and development to help them achieve their goals and fulfil their potential

· You believe that people should continue to seek our opportunities to learn and grow throughout their lives

· You recognise others' strengths and potential and help them optimise these
· You are able to effectively mentor and coach others
· You look for ways to challenge others, finding new experiences for them to help them grow

Extract from Angie Martin's Strengthscope Report

We are accredited in the use of ©Strengthscope. To find out more, please ring us on 07779 639569 or 01403 888044

Update - twittering more than blogging

Apologies to my readers if you have missed my blogs, but Twitter has taken over as I have been travelling around over the last few months. For those of you who know, or have been following me, you will know that I am a novice and pretty unskilled at all things virtual! So, having discovered Twitter and put it into my blog, I have found it a much easier way of keeping you up to date as I have had little time at the computer. So, if the blog appears to be old news, please keep an eye on the right hand side of this page where the Twitter feed will give regular reflections and updates.

Having taken 3 weeks h0liday in June, much work has been planned into July August and September, and as many freelancers and small business owners will appreciate, more time spent 'in the business' leaves little for working 'on the business'. A balance that is vital but often hard to achieve.

Iceland Super Jeep June 09

KEEPING LIFE IN BALANCE

is good for mind and body. Give us a call if you would like to discuss ways of taking stock of where you are now, and finding simple ways to change that balance if it is not where you want it to be.