Do you need courage?

This week Horsham men Guy Watts and Andrew Delaney set off for Australia as the days count down to their record breaking attempt to row the Indian Ocean:


Commencing: 19th April 2009 at 11:00am
From: Geraldton, Western Australia
Finishing: Mauritius, Indian Ocean
Distance: 3,780 nautical miles
http://www.indianoceanrace.com/Photo by Andrea Sarlo




Having followed their preparation over the last 12 months, I have been awestruck by their energy and determination. It takes courage to face mountainous waves, whales, sharks, swarms of jellyfish and temperatures exceeding 40 degrees. Good luck Guy and Andy.



Very detailed research that produced the Lominger leadership competencies, identified courage as one of the 8 key leadership success factors. This is broken down into 2 clusters and 7 different competencies:

Dealing with Trouble
Command Skills
Conflict Management
Confronting Direct Reports
Managerial Courage
Standing Alone
Making Tough People Calls
Hiring and Staffing
Sizing up People

Do you need courage to be demonstrated in your organisation? If so, where and how does it need to be demonstrated? If it is not being demonstrated, what is the root of the problem? One client identified that some of the major disruptions in her company arose because one of her managers was not skilled in, and in fact afraid of, confronting his direct reports who were not performing to the required standard. Another manager was regularly stressed and therefore not performing to their full capability as they avoided conflict – to the detriment of outstanding customer service when dealing with complaints.

Once you have identified where courage is needed, and established where the gaps are in your team, steps can be put in place to help develop more courage. Often it can be the result of inadequate training, or lack of confidence.

Do you tune people in, or turn them off?

Mehrabian's model on the effectiveness of spoken communication is often misquoted but gives food for thought:
- 7% of meaning is in the words that are spoken
- 38% of meaning is the way that the words are said
- 55% of meaning is in body language

So, if you are not really sure what someone means, then trusting their body language may be more effective than the words that they use.

- How can you interpret what a person is really thinking when they are speaking to you?
- How can you build strong interpersonal relationships through body language?

When we first see people, our gaze goes to the eyes and then the mouth. I was listening recently to a debate about the trial on iris scanning in airports, and one participant said that if the eyes were the window to the soul, then she did not want her eyes to be her barcode. Interesting. I have been unable to find the source of the saying 'eyes are the window to the soul' some attribute it to Da Vinci, but we know for example that using only the lower half of the face generates a 'crocodile' smile, suggesting insincerity. If you observe a sincere smile, you will usually see creases in the eyes aswell as the mouth, both sides of the face are usually symmetrical, and it is often shorter than a 'crocodile' smile. Remember however that there may be cultural differences. People around the world have different ways of communicating eg some cultures avoid eye contact or find too much of it intimidating.

This huge topic is covered in our interpersonal skills workshops and coaching sessions. However, watch out for some top tips in subsequent blog entries labelled 'Body Language'.

The Power of Positive Language

Through the power of our words we can give energy or take it away. On a beautiful sunny day, and after an hour's journey in the car singing to my latest CD I arrived at the office of a client and approached 2 different employees with my usual smile and cheery greeting. 'Good morning, what a beautiful sunny day today. How are you?' The responses I got?:
'Could be worse'
'Great thanks, how about you?'

Research suggests that we have up to 50,000 thoughts a day processed through ongoing 'self-talk'; the average child under 6 is told 'no don't' many times each day; if asked to describe ourselves in detail, the average person will often use up to 8 times more negative adjectives than positive ones. No wonder it is hard to think and talk positively! The good news is that we can choose to take a positive stance if we so wish. Here are a few examples to get us thinking about how we can give energy or take it away with the words we use - which do you choose?:

What we say to ourselves

+ve or -ve?
I need more energy or I'm tired
I must remember or I mustn't forget
I'll find out or I don't know

What we say when talking with others

+ve or -ve?
Feel free to contact me or Don't hesitate to contact me
Have you considered ? or Why didn't you ?

Can you think of a way we can implement a better mail system to save time and effort? or

Stop duplicating effort by handling the mail twice

When those 2 people responded to me, it wasn't just the words that had an impact on my energy level, it was also the way they said it. Positive words can be undermined by the way we say them. Mehrabian's model on the effectiveness of spoken communication is often misquoted but gives food for thought:
7% of meaning is in the words that are spoken
38% of meaning is the way that the words are said (tone of voice)
55% of meaning is in body language (facial expression)